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“My Summer Vacation”

A Junior High Student walks to the front of a classroom with a sheet of paper in hand.


Junior High Student

My Summer Vacation. Classes ended, and summer arrived with little fanfare.

As a latchkey kid, I was often left to my own devices. Afternoons were often spent creating macaroni-necklaces, beating Contra with only one life, reciting haiku to Mr. Marbles and other assorted acts of the mundane...

Just as I began to consider a life as a textile worker in Honduras, destiny came a-calling.

I awoke one morning to my usual routine of Cocoa Puffs and Internet message-board hijinks. The doorbell rang suddenly, interrupting my flame war against highly aggressive Chuck Norris fans.

I opened the door to find a man wearing a black visor and green jumpsuit.


"Hello child...” the strange man said.

"This is from your father..."


He handed me a package, then turned to leave. I was dumbfounded. I'd never met my father. My mother told me that he was lost at sea shortly before I was born. Lies.

I would deal with that later. The package was the important thing.

I made sure that I couldn't hear any ticking, and opened it.

A pulse rifle, laptop, and a badge with a six-headed monster on it would change my life forever.

Apparently, my late father was an agent of Hydra- an evil organization bent on world domination. When I'm 18, I get to join.




Thank you for that presentation. Now-


Junior High Student

(Talking loudly over teacher)

I've seen their headquarters. It's pretty awesome! It's a floating city over the Pacific. They have this huge rail-gun but wouldn't let me fire it...


An awkward silence follows



Are you finished?


Junior High Student

...And that was my summer vacation.